A friend once shared that certain calendar dates reopened old wounds – especially the day set aside to honor a parent who, in his experience, had not been loving or accepting. What was meant to be a celebration instead stirred deep sadness and unresolved hurt. The depth of what he shared has stayed with me.
It led me to reflect – not only on that friend’s pain but on my relationship with my own parents and children.
I am grateful for the love and support present in my own family, even as I recognize that this is not everyone’s experience. I hold my parents in deep affection. My father has passed, but my mother lives nearby, and I’m grateful to be able to spend time with her regularly. My children are grown or nearly so, scattered across the country, and building lives of their own. We stay connected with care and affection. And still, like many families, ours continues to grow, learn, and lean on grace.
Awareness of this naturally leads to thoughtful self-examination. Like many parents, I sometimes look back and wonder if I could have done some things differently. Parenting invites great love, and it also invites humility.
That humility brought me back to a commandment in the Bible I’ve known since childhood: “Honour thy father and thy mother” (Exodus 20:12). Over time, Christian Science has helped me understand this instruction more spiritually – not as a requirement to excuse hurt or deny human experience, but as an invitation to recognize our Father-Mother God as the true source of identity, care, and love.
Jesus consistently directed his followers’ thoughts beyond human personality to our divine origin. He said, “Call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven” (Matthew 23:9). This was not a rejection of family relationships, but a reorientation of them and of our thoughts about them. He was lifting our attention to the divine source of life and love – the one Parent of all, whose care is never partial, absent, or conditional.
Mary Baker Eddy expands this understanding in her spiritual sense of the Lord’s Prayer, particularly the opening line:
Our Father which art in heaven,
Our Father-Mother God, all-harmonious, …
These words and their spiritual interpretation, as shared in “Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures” (p. 16), gently but powerfully reframe the parent-child relationship. It assures us that no individual – parent or child – is the true origin or even custodian of love, wisdom, or worth. These qualities are derived from God, who is Love itself, and expressed through us, His children, but never limited to us.
Seen this way, honoring our Father-Mother God is healing for everyone involved. It frees children from defining themselves by what may have been missing, misunderstood, or imperfect in human parenting. And it frees parents from the burden of believing that every outcome rests on their personal wisdom or abilities – or their mistakes.
As a parent, this understanding has brought me peace. When thoughts of regret or self-criticism arise, prayer helps me return to a steadier foundation. I am reminded that my children’s lives are not shaped by isolated moments or missteps, but by divine Love itself. God’s care is continuous, impartial, and present wherever they are on the planet or in their life journey.
Mrs. Eddy offers a clarifying spiritual foundation in Science and Health when she writes, “Man is not the offspring of flesh, but of Spirit, – of Life, not of matter” (p. 289). This understanding has been deeply reassuring to me as a parent. It reminds me that what truly shapes my children – their worth, direction, and capacity to love and feel loved – does not originate in human personality or circumstance. Their real identity is held and governed by God. Seen in this light, parenting is less about personal know-how and performance and more about trusting divine Love to be the constant source of nurture, stability, and care.
For those who carry pain associated with a parent, this spiritual standpoint offers a path forward that does not depend on human reconciliation or acknowledgment, though those may come. Healing begins with God. It affirms that no one is deprived of love, guidance, or acceptance, because these qualities are divinely and eternally bestowed at all times.
To honor our Father-Mother God is to acknowledge the one source of love that never fails, never wounds, and never withholds. In that recognition, both parent and child can find freedom, dignity, and peace.
Adapted from an article published in the May 4, 2026, issue of the Christian Science Sentinel.
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